From the Bad Mommy Files

Owen getting acquainted with Starbucks

Things we have encouraged/allowed Matthew to believe
1) Gina and I have an eye in the back of our heads that can see through walls. Matthew doesn't have one yet because you don't grow one until you have kids.

2) The reason Matthew and Owen don't have a baby sister is that my baby grower only makes boys. (Matthew's swim teacher was fascinated by this explanation)

3) There is a tiny dragon in the microwave and that is how the food is heated.

4) Grownups have special powers, both magic and ordinary.

Things they do that drive me right up to the edge:
Owen:
-Have 1.5 hr tantrums
-Cry and fuss for an entire afternoon if he's not feeling well
-Play power games over getting into his car seat.
-Behave perfectly with Gina

Matthew:
-Providing in home interrogation. There is no force of man or nature, not a hurricane, nuclear explosion, immanent car crash or aforementioned 1.5 hr tantrum that will stop him from immediately asking whatever question leaps to mind and 12 follow ups.
-Taking the family to DEFCON 4 because Owen has prematurely turned off the television.

Reasons I can't stand to be away from them:
Matthew:
-Wrapping his arms around me, burying his face in my neck and saying, "Mommy, I LOVE you,"

Owen
- His good bye ritual will not be complete unless he has first "kissed mommy's cheek, and the other one."
- He solemnly says, "Excuse me" if he burps, and "Excuse you" if someone else does.

What is a girl to do?